Fathering in Faith

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. This time, mainly out of being so busy.

We are spending a lot of time getting the boys used to our home all together, but over the last month, I had several of these thoughts come to mind.

So here are some common misconceptions about widows and widowers getting remarried.

1. Everything is perfect and whole now.

Merging families is tough. But having a spouse to do that with makes it not impossible. Single parenting after loss is no joke, but at the end of the day, merging families has its own trials as well. Making all the choices as a single person is sometimes easier although the burden is fully on you. Some trials now are creating unified discipline, sharing, establishing both parents as authority. And that leads to the second part.

2. Remarriage doesn’t stop grief of your late spouse

We already knew this going in, but I think it can be hard for others to understand. Both Chelsea and I have had our share of grief moments in the last month. We will never stop missing Christina and Craig. They are a forever part of this family. Ramsey’s mommy and Max’s daddy. It’s part of us and we want it that way. We want to talk about them often because we loved them so much and want to honor them throughout our lives. One example of grief that will always exist is seeing our boys develop and do wonderful things and know our late spouses would have loved seeing them grow.

To be fair, remarriage changes family dynamics in the sense that we have four wonderful families instead of two each. And each and every person in our four families grieves differently. But the hope is that we will continue to walk with everyone on our journeys forever. Personally for me, my largest grief has been moving away from Christina’s family. I am so thankful for the special bond we shared this last year and a half and I miss how often we got to see each other. I’m thankful though that the closeness in spirit we have will keep us close!