Fathering in Faith

Ramsey and I were on the way home from his school’s meet and greet time and out of nowhere he says, “Only grown ups go to heaven. I don’t want to go to heaven.”

When you have a 3 year old, tough conversations don’t happen at the times I’m ready. Even when I try to initiate conversations with Christina, he usually throws a one liner out there and moves on. But in this case, he started the dialogue.

“Well buddy, when God wants someone to be with Him in heaven, He decides when.”

Ramsey seemed to digest that for a second and then said, “How long do people stay in heaven?”

“Forever. Are you asking because you are thinking about Mommy?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, either when God wants us to go or when He comes back, we will go to heaven as well. And we will see mommy there.”

“I don’t want to trust you with that.” The words cut deep. A 3 year old saying that. If any of you know Ramsey, he throws out things like that and I’m like where in the world did you learn to say that? I would have a hard time trusting that too.

Then he continued, “That makes me angry. That’s why I’m always angry.”

“Sometimes I’m angry too, bud.” Tears are falling down and honestly it’s been a while for me. “It’s ok to be angry and let God know you’re upset. He can handle it. And it’s good to talk about it.”

“Yeah…” I can see his eyes are watery at this point too. Then we passed by Braum’s… and he yells that he wants ice cream haha. And it’s too late and he needed to go to bed so I told him tomorrow after class and he starts crying haha. So fun how it all mixes together at that age.

The crazy thing is events at his school usually have me thinking about Christina too. You see kids with both of their parents there. Wishing that your family was still whole. I know Ramsey wishes that too.

I titled this blog that I’m thankful for these conversations. They are tough. So tough. But in these small moments, I’m able to show my son a glimpse of our Savior and His love for us. For that, I’ll be thankful.